no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you never un-have a 4some
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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