what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
