thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
