you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
