You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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