shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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