By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
