He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
