is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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