Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
