I am in a vortex of obligation.
birth control should be required to get into college
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
