is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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