He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize