You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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