But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
