Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
