I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
