Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
