So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
