oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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