Your tits are I can't wait for
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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