Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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