I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
