sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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