There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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