After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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