when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
