plz talk dirty to me
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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