The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
