I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
