the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
