I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
