we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
