You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
