theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
