if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
