if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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