we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
