Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
