He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
