Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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