you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize