even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
