Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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