Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
