shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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