The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
