You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
