Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
