is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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