I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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