Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
