Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
