Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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