Joe is yelling at the trees again.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
