I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize