My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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