I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
