I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
