I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
