Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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