Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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