Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my being single is dangerous.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
