And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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