you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
