so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
