I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
420 ftw
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
